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About Life and Losss

2/23/2017

32 Comments

 
As you probably all know, California has had a lot of rain over the last two months. But today the sun is shining and our neighbor’s fruitless plum tree is in full bloom. The beach is littered with everything that has washed ashore. It is time to collect some driftwood.
Santa Cruz
Picture
Capitola
Blacks Beach
It rained and rained and rained some more. The trees fell to the ground and the wind was furious. I was lucky because I had electricity, so I cooked and cooked and cooked. I cooked a whole duck. I made a winter “farro" salad and tried a new recipe for hummus. I am working on these recipes, and will post them later. Cooking distracted me from the scarier and darker moments of the tempestuous weather. I was fortunate to be able to stay in my home and not having to evacuate like so many others.
Whole roasted duck
Faro Salad
Life is all about change and loss. What prompted me to write this was a sentence I read this morning from my blogging friend, Jo, at https://coastalcrone.com about being brave enough to change. At this stage in life, I have to contemplate changes I do not look forward to but have to face. And will have to deal with sooner or later. I usually push most of them aside. I prefer the joyful, well-lived life. Don’t we all.

But during those dark hours of rain and storm, I grieved for the loss of my oldest friends from Germany. She died last summer in a horrible car accident. She would be there forever, or so I thought. Gabriele has always been very special to me. She was like a sister. We met in boarding school when she was fourteen and I was fifteen. She fled East Germany with her parents and siblings and later worked her way to becoming a principal and advocate for special needs children. 

​During one of my visits, we went to a Turkish home and she told the reluctant father that his severely handicapped daughter had to attend school in Germany—by law. I was sure we would get in trouble. Another time, she saved my life when we hitchhiked as young girls in Germany. I remember  so many stories full of laughter and tears, as well disagreements and hurt feelings. Why am I posting this? I am not so sure. I have mixed feelings. 

What I want to say is: Be kind and gentle with the world and especially your friends. When we said goodbye last May in Germany, she hugged me and cried. Little did I know it was the last time I would ever see her.

Forever friends
best friends
“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.
                    --Charles Schultz

In honor of my friend, Gabriele, I would like give you the link to one of her favorite recipes: seafood pasta.
32 Comments
Pamela link
3/1/2017 10:32:02 pm

Oh, this post just tugs at the heart. I am so so sorry for the loss of your special special friend. I am spending some days with a very good friend of mine in California, and I'm sharing this post with her. You're right, we always have to be ready for a change, and it's such a good idea to always tell those that we love how much they mean to us in our lives. Please know that I'm thinking of you and of your friend shining down from the stars.

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Gerlinde
3/2/2017 08:49:35 am

After creating this post I decided not to publish it. Yesterday I was playing with my website app on my iPad and must have accidentally pushed the publish button. I did not notice it hidden below the latest post. After seeing your thoughtful comment I will keep this post on my website for a while. Thank you Pam!

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Mimi link
3/2/2017 12:54:04 pm

I''m glad you posted this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I never lived in the same place growing up so I can only imagine what it's like to have had a dear friend for so long, along with wonderful memories.

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Gerlinde
3/2/2017 07:56:25 pm

Thanks Mimi, she was a very special friend. We didn't see each other that much because we lived on different continents.

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Teagan
3/2/2017 01:15:59 pm

Oh Gerlinde, I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a wonderful post, a lovely tribute to her.
It really is beautiful. I'm glad you posted it. Although I realize reading these comments may keep the grief/wound open more than you'd like.
Sending you huge hugs.
I'm glad you didn't have to evacuate. The photos of the beach are interesting. All of them are beautiful. More hugs.

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Gerlinde
3/2/2017 07:58:19 pm

Thank you Teagan, you are so sweet. Huge hugs back!

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Darlene Foster link
3/2/2017 01:58:08 pm

So sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I lost a good friend two years ago (only 52 years old). I too remember fondly our last meeting just two weeks before she passed away in her sleep. She saw me off at the airport and we said I love you. Thanks for the wonderful recipe which I will be making.

Reply
Gerlinde
3/2/2017 08:02:24 pm

Thank you Darlene, I am so sorry you lost your friend. I wish I had said I love you when I saw Gabriele the last time at the bus station.

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Mary Ann | The Beach House Kitchen link
3/2/2017 03:25:41 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss Gerlinde. It sounds like you two had lots of adventures together. I'm sure she is watching you from above! Love her favorite seafood pasta. It looks delicious!

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Gerlinde
3/2/2017 08:06:14 pm

Thanks Mary Ann, We did have some good times together.

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Eha
3/2/2017 03:59:37 pm

No one can erase the memories: once they are gone, you two will be together again! As far as nature goes we had the heat, you the damaging rain: now we have changed to deluges . . . . and you hopefully to a smiling spring . . . wonder whether there is samphire on those recovering shores . . .

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Gerlinde
3/2/2017 08:09:13 pm

Thank you Eha, we had a beautiful sunny day today. I don't know about sapphires but a lot of people are collecting driftwood.

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Eha
3/2/2017 08:44:16 pm

*big smile* Actually did mean 'samphire' - a coastal
lumpy' 'seaweed' we are so learning to love here in Australia . . we are usually happy to collect off the beaches similar to Ca in Tasmania and South Australia . . .

Gerlinde
3/3/2017 07:12:32 am

Thank you Eha for pointing that out. I misread samphire and misspelled it. I don't think I ever have seen one of these samphire plants before ( I looked it up at Wikipedia) . But I could be wrong again.
What came to my mind when I read samphire was people with with their magnetic devices looking for jewelry.

Deb|EastofEdenCook link
3/2/2017 04:20:31 pm

Oh Gerlinde, life can be so hard. Change can come quickly. This is a wonderful tribute to your dear friend!

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Gerlinde
3/2/2017 08:10:15 pm

Thank you Deb, I am eating your lime cake and it is delicious.

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Penny link
3/3/2017 03:02:22 am

Oh, Gerlinde, this brought a few tears to my eyes this morning, as well as a renewed promise to myself to follow your to "Be kind and gentle with the world and especially your friends".
I struggle sometimes with this reality that most of my life has passed by and that I'd best make the most of each moment ahead. It is cold and rainy here - a pot of soup for sup.

Reply
Gerlinde
3/3/2017 07:32:13 am


Oh Penny, I am so glad I found you in cyberspace. There are times when I also struggle with the same problem. I think almost everybody does . We need to tell each other to make the best with what we have . A pot of soup is perfect for a rainy day.



Reply
Liz O'Hara link
3/3/2017 12:35:57 pm

I am so sorry about the death of your friend. It's horrible when things like that blindside us.

The beach at Fort Bragg looks the same, giant trees up on the tide line. You put your time to good use though, that duck looks delicious. I have one in my freezer and you have inspired me.

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Gerlinde
3/5/2017 03:10:35 pm

Thanks Liz, do you have a good recipe to roast duck? I used the "Maple Leaf Farm" recipe for roasting a whole duck.

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Marion
3/3/2017 06:53:43 pm

Lindy, das war ein wunderschöner Tribut für Deine Freundin und für Freundschaft überhaupt. Ich bin stolz auf Dich. Kuss, Marion
PS Long live friendship and seafood pasta!

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Gerlinde
3/5/2017 03:14:10 pm

Vielen Dank Marion, ein netter und lieber Kommentar!

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David link
3/4/2017 12:48:38 am

Gerlinde - this is sound a beautiful and touching post. I am a sorry that Jo was killed in the accident. It is proof that we must enjoy every day, every moment. I will make her seafood pasta and will think of her - and you. My heartfelt condolences. David

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Gerlinde
3/5/2017 03:15:26 pm

Thank you David , I hope I didn't make anybody sad with this post.

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ChgoJohn link
3/7/2017 09:01:53 pm

Truly sorry to learn of your dear friend's sudden passing. I am glad that you were able to see her last May and that you have the lovely memory of her hug. May she rest in peace.

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Gerlinde
3/8/2017 06:39:41 am

Thank you John, I am glad I got to see my friend in May.

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Kathryn Rocheleau
3/7/2017 10:39:44 pm

Oh Gerlinde, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend and the horrible storm damage. It's not a bad thing to share your grief and losses from time to time. I do hope you can continue to remember the bright spots and happy moments with your friend!

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Gerlinde
3/8/2017 06:46:54 am

Thank you Kathryn, we all have losses and grief about them. Maybe we help each other by sharing them, I don't know. It took some time for me to be able to share this.

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Cheri link
3/9/2017 07:29:15 pm

Hi Gerlinde, my heart is aching for you, so so sorry. From what I know of you she must of been wonderful. Take care.

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Gerlinde
3/10/2017 06:56:11 am

Cheri, thank you for your thoughtful and kind comment.

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EllaDee link
3/14/2017 02:37:44 pm

A bittersweet post, beautifully expressed [and needed to be shared it seems]. Rather than making me sad, it made me glad, that we have such wonderful friendships, relationships that we risk love, and loss.
As for Change, that too is a tangible thing in its own way, and like a sometimes troublesome loved one we must find a way to have a relationship with it that respects both parties needs & boundaries.
I love that you spent the bad weather cooking, it's exactly what I would do ♡

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Gerlinde
3/15/2017 09:43:14 pm

I have been cooking way too much. It shows in our waistline .

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